Haven Notes Vol. 6
Gift, Grit and Grace
Welcome to Haven Notes, where I take a look at all the marvelous and messy that is going on in life and invite you in with me to embrace what is means to live with hope and authenticity in the middle of it all. Let’s get to it!
GIFT
This week was pure gift in so many ways. I had the privilege of attending a SoulCore Leader Gathering in Tampa, and while the 30-40 degree temps disappointed a bit (‘Florida decided to participate in winter,’ as one witty leader put it), the gathering most certainly did not. SoulCore is a ministry that pairs that rosary with stretching and functional movement. It is a deeply personal and fulfilling mission that is a big part of my heart.
SoulCore sessions are little retreats for the heart, as we read Scripture, meditate on the mysteries of Christ’s life, and move our breath, bodies and souls closer to Him. If you appreciate or know Marian theology at all, you know that Mary has a way of knitting little special details into everything she does. This was never more evident than at this gathering.
I met women I did not know and yet shared similar backgrounds, testimonies and life journeys. I met women who taught me so much about the beauty of our faith as they lived it to the fullest extent with radiant joy in their hearts, many whom have experienced deep suffering in their lives. And along the way, I met our Lord in a new, profound and deeply beautiful way as Our Lady invited me to go deeper with Jesus in a posture of surrender.
There were many fruits and gifts that came out of this sacred time away, and they are still slowly revealing themselves to me in prayer. It is often my experience when we have these ‘mountaintop’ experiences that our brain and heart need some time to absorb all the goodness and grace. But one that resonated immediately and is still evident to me is the deep need we have as humans for in-person connection.
We are embodied spirits and we need to experience the life-giving wellspring of joy that rises up when we gather together as sisters in Christ. It is why Christ left us the Eucharist: His Body and His Blood, present to us, with us, in every encounter at Mass. As Fr. Vincent led us in prayer, praise and worship, my heart was stirred to tears with gratitude for the gift of community, and of His presence in the midst of it all. And I am more convicted than ever that Finding Havens will be a space where we can do just that - connect in community with Him, the One who gave it all so that we could love each other so lavishly.
GRIT
Now, if you don’t mind stepping down off the mountaintop with me for a minute, let’s get real and talk about a little thing I like to call re-entry. I feel like many of you know what this means, but to put it simply, it is the chaos that tends to ensue when we return from a girls trip, retreat, vacation or other time away from the rhythm and routine of everyday life. It’s usually a little rough. And it can be kinda depressing, because we float in on the heels on having experienced good food, good friends, good conversations, holy moments of grace, prayer and connection… and then BAM. Reality slams into full focus and you are instantly back into laundry - carpool - work - dog messes - grocery shopping - all the things mode. Jarring a bit, right?
In no way do I mean to complain or criticize the rhythms of my everyday life. I love them and they anchor me and quite honestly, I don’t think I could handle a continual mountaintop state of being. I missed my people, missed taking care of them and hearing their silly stories and bickering and requests for dinner. But, still. I am being honest in saying that those transitions are hard for me. And more specifically, they are right where the enemy likes to poke at me. It usually goes a little something like this: I being to hear little voices that prick my conscience, whispering things like:
You shouldn’t have gone away. Look at all there is to do. You are selfish to take time for yourself.
Your prayer and reception of healing won’t mean anything now that you’re home and getting stressed. The graces won’t stay. It was a temporary high.
See, you still feel anxious and you still are tempted to bad habits. Nothing really happened to change you and your relationship with God.
And this is where I have learned, after many re-entrys, to silence that voice with a little thing I like to call grit. You have to get tough with that inner voice and put it in its place, which is at the foot of the cross. There is no room for that in a life filled with intentional desire to seek havens with the Lord. The response I have curated goes something like this:
I was blessed to be able to go away and be supported here at home. Time with God on retreat, properly discerned, is always a blessing.
The healing and infusion of grace and prayer cannot be taken from me. It will strengthen me when life gets messy, as it always does. His grace is enough, and I trust in it.
Every day I draw breath is a chance to change and grow closer in my relationship with God. He wastes nothing, even bad habits and anxiety. I give it all to Him.
Do you see the difference my friend? The first voice, the enemy, wants to tear down with seeds of doubt and is self-focused. The second voice, the voice of God, focuses all glory on Him. And I choose Him, every time. And so can you.
GRACE
But we even boast of our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us. -Romans 5: 3-5
These verses were the first mass reading for the Feast of St. Blaise on February 3. They moved me in the best way, opening my soul up to the knowledge that truly, hope in the Christian sense is a work of grace given to us as we bear afflictions and yet stay close to the Cross. This is not a wish-on-a-star type of watered down hope. This is battled-tested, hard-fought, ripped-open wounds that have left scars type of hope. This is the hope that comes from knowing that bad things do and will happen, and we will still be standing when storm passes. Because we never, ever bear the burden alone. Jesus pours His Precious Blood, blood that was shed willingly for us, on all our wounds and gives us supernatural grace to withstand, to hold firm, to do all things through Him who strengthen us.
Whatever we are battling, my friends, we are never, ever battling alone. An avalanche of grace has been poured into our hearts by the One who gave it all so that we could have this kind of hope.
Pure gift, pure grit, pure grace.
Thank you, Jesus.
SOMETHING I’M LOVING
This place… Substack. I love discovering new writers who speak to my soul and inspire my day. I have come to see it as my personal digital magazine. I love to curl up with a cup of coffee or tea and take a few moments in my day to read through my subscriptions. It slows me down and brings peace, joy and grace. I also love that it is such an awesome space to cheer each other on. A couple writers I’m loving:
Laura Phelps at Words & Birds … this girl is inspiring, y’all. Not only does she write beautifully about the interior life, she gives us snippets of pics and video of her adorable chickens, which I am more and more convinced bring us somehow closer to Christ. Don’t quote me on that theology, but I’m tellin ya. They are SO SWEET.
Danielle Bean at Girlfriends … very real, very relatable and very rooted in Christ. A breath of fresh air in the too-crowded space of perfectly curated Christian women’s content designed to make you think you can do it all, in a dress while making sourdough. (Spoiler: there is literally no such thing as perfect! Don’t fall for it!) Danielle’s posts feel like a cup of coffee with a witty and wise friend.
PRAYER & PONDERING OF THE WEEK
In Week 1, Day 5 of Love and Loyalty, we touch of the notion of rejecting the enemy’s lies. I thought this excerpt went well with the post, and I hope you enjoy! If you want to explore more of your heart with Ruth, you can find my book on Amazon!
Excerpt from Love and Loyalty: Heart Lessons from the Book of Ruth
Lesson 1, Day 5: Rejecting the Enemy’s Lies
What does Scripture tell us that directly contradicts the whispered lies of the enemy?
Summarize the following verses in your own words.
1 Peter 5:10
1 Corinthians 10:13
Psalm 34:17–18
If you are in a season of bitterness, what might the Lord be saying to you about leaning into His love and grace? Can you draw closer to Him and let Him love you in the hard places and the mess? And if you are not in this season, can you offer prayer for someone who is and ask the same thing of the Lord? There is such power in the name of Jesus, and there is no end to how He can work in and through us.
Let’s Pray . . .
Father, You love me more than I know, and yet I do know it. I can feel Your love when I stop to recognize it, to gaze on Your face and feel the light shining back on me. Remind me of Your infinite goodness when the enemy taunts me with the lie that I don’t have enough fortitude to endure my suffering. Remind me that You will take my littleness and use it for Your good and glory as I navigate the ups and downs of life. Amen.
Thank you for the new vocabulary word for what it takes to manage my mind when re-entering into everyday life after taking time away: grit. Lovely!