Rays of Eternal Light

Learning to Let God Into the Cracks of Your Day

A Heart Longing for Quiet Time with God

Years ago, as a young woman learning about the beauty of Catholic faith and leaning into all the goodness I was discovering in the Church, I yearned for quiet, uninterrupted times of prayer with God. I envisioned candle-lit mornings with a cup of coffee and blessed silence with the Lord. These were my raw and real heart stirrings even though I was deep in a season of very little quiet time and very many little ones underfoot. Inevitably, an early morning prayer session where I sacrificed precious minutes of sleep would be interrupted in mere seconds by a crying baby or up-too-early toddler.

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I remember so vividly fighting against frustration and anger in those moments: I knew this was the norm with little kids, and yet my heart still kept calling out for quiet. I wanted it. I needed it. I knew it would nourish my soul so that I could pour out for my family… I just didn’t know how to find it.

God Speaks Into the Cracks of Our Days

I slowly stopped trying to force quiet prayer time with God into my day, and somewhere along that path I encountered another option: I tried to make space for him to seep into the flow of my mama-of-many daily life. I would often listen to praise music in the car, recite decades of the rosary during carpool lines, and I even for one stretch of time would take my bible in the bathroom to grab a scripture verse to pray with in the shower! Something really cool happened when I leaned into this natural rhythm of peppering prayer throughout my day.

God showed up, and he actually gave me just what I was desiring: quiet moments with him.

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They weren’t happening in the candlelit, early morning sunrise way I’d envisioned, but they were there nonetheless. My soul became quieter because I was offering God the opportunity to speak into the cracks of my day. As the generous giver that he is, God lit up the those slivers of time and space in my days with eternal rays of joy and glory, and before I knew it I was feeling the beauty of his peace.

I had attuned my own heart to the rhythm of the life he was calling me to in that moment: a busy life, a full life, a noisy life… and all of a sudden, there he was.

I could perceive his presence when I was nursing a precious snuggly baby in the middle of the night. I felt him on a run as my endorphins surged and my stress level melted, and I experienced the tender mothering that his own mother gave me as a I discovered the gift of praying the rosary.

Life Changes, He Doesn’t

I am now in a different season of motherhood, but one where I need not one ounce less of his grace and goodness. I am parenting adults setting off on their own adventures in life. The tender balance of letting go and celebrating while grieving the passage of those sweet years of their childhoods is a heartache I never saw coming. And I’m parenting college kids and teenagers who are living with unprecedented levels of constant and relentless noise in their own lives. The stress is different, my friends, but no less real!

Through all the years of filling the cracks of my days, I have known the overwhelming and reassuring presence of God. And when I was in desolation and couldn’t feel him, my heart knew he was there, because I had committed to that opening of my soul so many years ago. He meets me still, my good, good Father, in the slivers of time that are my life: in a beautiful sunrise that captivates my daughter on the way to school, in the surprising hug from a teenage son, and in the visits to new apartments, stories of new jobs, new relationships, and new life experiences of my grown-and-flown kiddos. God is good, all the time, and what joy we can find in the surrendering of our time to him.

I am praying for you on the journey, my sister in Christ. May you experience the joy of opening your heart so that the rays of his eternal light can shine through all the cracks of your days.