Haven Notes Vol. 5

Adore, Affirm and Arise

Hi friends! After a whirlwind month or so of all things book launch, I’m back to our Friday Haven Notes, with some tweaks. In this weekly chat I hope to share inspiration and honest thoughts about life over here at Finding Havens. Spoiler: it’s often messy, but we aim to find God in the middle of our messes. So if you love to listen to real stories, laugh a little at bad jokes, and get some good old Biblical inspiration, let’s do it!

First up, a few words to sum up my week:

ADORE

This week was a little, shall we say, wonky. Winter Storm Fern did indeed ‘girl boss too close to the sun’ as she swept the whole country in a nice thick blanket of snow and ice. (Bonus points for anyone who gets that reference- leave a comment!) Anyhoo, for Casa Finding Havens that meant a lot of flexibility with e-learning days and two hour delays, a lot of attempts to wrestle coats on teenagers (I really thought sub zero temps would make them cave, but alas, they still thought hoodies were proper snow gear), and a lot of requests for hot cocoa and warm meals.

Photo by Jessie Maxwell on Unsplash

Reflecting on the chaos of this week, I realize that ten or so years ago, a week like this would have exhausted me beyond recognition. The need for control to reign over chaos was a hard-fought and seldom-won battle for me for a significant portion of my motherhood. I wanted to relax and adapt, for sure. But my brain and heart and overregulated nervous system just couldn’t deal.

This week, though, I smiled more. I laughed a lot. I cooked with my kids, made brownies and cocoa, enjoyed my cozy blanket and fire with my morning prayer, and rolled with all the delays and cancellations. I was not overly stressed. I was not overly exhausted. I was just living in the moments, come what may. The reason for this is obvious to me: my kids are older and less whiny and demanding. KIDDING!!!!

Actually, they are older and less demanding in many ways, but also still humans under my roof with needs, wants, stresses and moods that inevitably affect me. But I have learned that this is all okay. More than okay, actually, it is developmentally appropriate and precisely why they have a mother and father. And while recognizing and leaning into this truth has shifted my paradigm around parenting significantly, that is not why the peace persisted this week. The peace persisted because I have decided that what He says matters more than anything else. Just like the Wemmick Lucia in Max Lucado’s book You Are Mine¹, I don’t let the stuff of life ‘stick’ to me as much anymore. What a gift to know that my peace rests in Jesus can never be moved by earthly trials.

And so the pinnacle of my musings about gratitude came this afternoon, when I attended Adoration and Benediction at my daughter’s school. As I knelt before Jesus in that gym, I was acutely aware of His presence as each classroom filed in and made concentric circles around Him. Tears filled my eyes as I begged Him:

Please, Jesus. Please. Let these little ones feel Your love. There is so much else around them that is not of love. Be their light. Help them know Your deep and boundless love for each of them.

And as I laid other intentions at His feet, I perceived an image: Jesus skipped around the circles, touching each child’s head in a holy and joyful game of Duck Duck Goose. When He got to me, He took my hand and beamed at me. I mean, a really big smile. And I sensed that He wanted me to follow Him. Joyfully. Skipping. Smiling.

Photo by Lina Volkmann on Unsplash

And I said, Yes, Lord. I will. I will follow you joyfully always, because where else could I go? Instagram? Media? My own toxic thoughts? While these all fill way too much of my idle time, they can never fill the God-shaped hole in my heart. Only Love Himself can do that.

AFFIRM

As I continue to pray about the direction of Finding Havens, I see, hear and feel a constant common thread:

We are starving for human connection.

We have gone all in on the technology and we have reaped its benefits and recognized its ability to help us do all manner of things faster and easier, but we have lost something precious along the way.

We’ve lost time scrolling, scrolling, scrolling as we laugh at memes and save recipes and form parasocial relationships and feed the monsters of envy, avarice and sloth to the point of making ourselves sick and depressed. We’ve lost in-person meetings to the convenience of Zoom calls, learning to operate from behind a screen, seamlessly blending calls with laundry, home repair appointments, and more scrolling. Our children have lost critical social skills, including making eye contact and carrying on a conversation without a phone.

But the light is coming, my friends, as it always does. I can perceive it on the horizon, dusty and faint, but it’s there. So many subtle signs have been affirmations that we are made for more than a screen. Just in my own circle, I see the tide turning: friends wanting to meet over coffee and start a book club, discovering the joy of sending voice memos instead of texts, and engaging the mind and body in the real world, that one that holds our friends, family and loved ones that we can see and hug and love in real time and space. And this makes me smile, indeed.

I have big plans and dreams for Finding Havens to cultivate these physical gatherings and intentional spaces, so I hope you’ll stick around to join me for the journey!

ARISE

As it often does, some Scripture stopped me in my tracks this week and gave me a moment to reflect on who I was, who I am, and who I am constantly becoming.

Reading through the book of Micah in prayer, I was struck anew by the generous heart of our loving God. As I prayed through chapter 4 in particular, these words leapt off the page:

Now many nations are assembled against you, saying, “Let her be profaned, and let our eyes gaze upon Zion.

But they do not know the thoughts of the Lord, they do not understand his plan, that he has gathered them as sheaves to the threshing floor.

Arise and thresh, O daughter of Zion, for I will make your horn iron and your hoofs bronze.

-Micah 4:11-13

This touched deep into places of my heart where the enemy has tried to lay claim so many times… places where I believe the lies that I am less than, worthy of being cast aside, thrown down, or treated poorly. I recognized in these verses one of my favorite attributes of God - that He is a strong & loving Father whose thoughts are higher than the heavens and who will always fight for me, protect me, and strengthen me for every battle.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Arise and thresh, O daughter of Zion.

Arise, indeed.

Something I’m Loving

Okay, this is borderline cringy and definitely a shameless plug, but I truly am loving seeing my book out in the world, and it brings me so much joy to see you loving it too! As it turns out, Love and Loyalty: Heart Lessons from the Book of Ruth is a seven week study, and Lent is just around the corner! It would be a wonderful companion to your Lenten journey, with five brief (10-15 minutes) lessons per week filled with deep but very accessible study of the book of Ruth paired with questions, prompts and prayers that will draw your heart closer to God’s love for you.

Quote of the Week

Each week, I will share a prayer or quote from Love and Loyalty. I thought it would be fitting to start with one of my favorite parts of the Introduction, which sets the stage for the adventure of journeying with the Lord and Ruth.

The book of Ruth is a masterclass on what can happen when God’s people fully, albeit imperfectly, embrace His plan and trust Him in every circumstance, and on how He is our good, good Father in every season of life. By seeking him, trusting him, and following him, we arrive at a place where we are held in the Father’s hands, we are standing on the rock of his love, and we are utterly unafraid to surrender to his will. And by doing so, we are drawn into the comfort, security and peace that abides in us when we recognize ourselves as beloved daughters of the King. This recognition leads to a beautiful realization: Our hearts long for this place where we are whole, our burdens are lightened, and our souls find supernatural peace. This place has a name, and it calls to us from the pages of Ruth as we journey with her. This place is called home. At home we find our soul’s true longing—union with God and a safe haven for our heart from every storm that threatens us. Home is a place where we are at peace because we know who we are and whose we are.

In His Peace,

Alli

1. Max Lucado, You Are Mine. (Crossway, 2001.)